Getting a job

I weighed up some of the pros and cons of returning to work in a previous post To work or not to work. Now I've had a part-time job for a couple of months I'm reflecting on how it's working out.

My last 'proper' job came to an end just before I got pregnant with baby number 3, so I didn't have a job to return to. I run my own business and so have continued to work on that, but the pressures of paying the bills on a regular basis and my husband wanting to re-train and change his career have led me to look for a part-time job. Luckily when I was visiting my favourite local family park I saw an advert for someone to work in the entry kiosk. I charmed and CV'd my way into the job and now work at least 1 day per weekend a few days during the school holidays.

I only work on days where my husband is available to look after the children so there are no childcare costs. It does eat quite dramatically into our family time, but I guess I have to prioritise keeping a roof over our heads.

The first couple of days of work were seriously a MAJOR REST! Only having to look after yourself without looking out for 3 little people, being able to drink a cup of tea whilst it's hot, and having some adult conversation were huge pluses. I totally loved coming home to find my husband had cooked dinner (or a couple of times spent half my days earnings on a takeaway..) and begun to get the children ready for bed. It is great to know that he now understands what it is like to spend 9 hours alone with 3 children aged 5, 3 and 1. That helps.

Now I'm finding that my guilt for spending time away from the children is creeping in. This half term I'm working 5 days, but we are taking the children to CBeebies Land at Alton Towers for 2 days in the middle, so I imagine they'll mostly remember that! Guilt seems to be an emotion that goes hand-in-hand with parenting, and I'm striving to keep it at bay so there is just enough guilt to motivate me to try harder but not enough to make me sit and cry in the corner :-)

In general I am enjoying having a job as an extra dimension to my life. It is a relief to have a teensy weensy bit of time away from my beloved children, and it is necessary to earn money. I'm able to be there to take my daughter to school and pick her up every day, and my husband and kids regularly come to the park to visit me and enjoy themselves.

In my lovely uniform...

How not to potty train

Since writing about Potty training nightmares a few weeks back, things have only gotten worse. My poor 3 year old far from feeling encouraged by all of our efforts to potty train him decided instead to resist and stop wanting to wee and poo altogether. This resulted in a few days of begging and pleading with him, putting nappies back on, taking him on and off the toilet, giving him drinks and generally despairing. He was able to hold out for most of each day, even though that involved some obvious pain and lots of hopping around. He did most of his wees overnight when he was sleeping.

I was so worried about him that I tried to make a doctor's appointment but was only able to see a nurse. She advised me to put away the potty and not mention it for a while, and to put my 3 year old back in nappies. Maybe it's my paranoia but I detected a tone of judgement for my bad parenting. My 3 year old (S) had shown all of the signs of being ready to potty train and was really happy to be wearing his big boy pants.

The following day he was willing to try and wee but he was in so much pain as he did it, and also was lying on the sofa feeling really poorly. My husband rang up the doctors again and although he swears he asked to see a doctor when I took S back it was another nurse practitioner. She asked me to collect a urine sample (easier said than done) and so I delivered that back the following day (Thurs). On Fri when we called back to get the results but they had been sent off for analysis and so we would have to wait over the weekend.

On Monday when we called back my husband was able to at least speak to a GP on the phone, and she told him that S doesnt have a urine infection and prescribed some laxatives. Nearly a week later he is still in discomfort when weeing, so on Thursday I called the doctors again and pleaded to see an actual doctor. As usual they offered me either a nurse practitioner or a phone conversation with a doctor. I held out for a physical appointment and was offered one 8 days later. I attempted to negotiate but to no avail. So we are still waiting for that one and meantime S does seem to be improving.

So what do we do next? S is back in nappies full time, we have to give him a break from the idea of potty training and hope that he doesn't have all these negative associations with it when we try again later. Here's hoping for a few more parenting victories to make me feel a bit more competent as a mummy :-)

Who makes you smile?

After 2 days of dealing with a fairly ill child (plus 2 siblings) and generally moaning and complaining at the world, the sight of my littlest ones happily holding hands put a smile on my face. Today I have grumbled at the doctors surgery for constantly sending me to a nurse practitioner when I ask for a GP (I did get a lovely effort from the reception manager who did go out of her way to explain their procedures), I have sent an angry email to Tescos after getting bad customer service (and bad food), and let the lettings agent for my house have some of my grumpiness too.

My poor middle child is unwell and has spent the whole day on the sofa, aside from being dragged to the doctors surgery again (and tescos of course). His baby brother hung out with him, and the two of them had a lovely few minutes of holding hands. It helped put a smile back on my face and remind me that parenting is all about raising these creatures who are our future citizens and (I believe!) are precious souls.

Let me know what makes you smile!

Fun in the garden!

Thank goodness for better weather! This was taken a couple of weeks ago, but I'm trying to cheer myself up with the sight of happy children as I have one sick at home today. I'm so proud of my little gang of cuties!

Potty Training Nightmares

Many of you will have successfully taught a child how to use the potty or the toilet. I have done it as well, once. For my second attempt things seem a little trickier...

My middle child turned 3 last week, and so that prompted further encouragement to ditch those nappies and put on 'big boy' pants. We have tried many times in the past to get him to potty train but he has such a dislike that we've backed off for a while. But now that he is 3 we can't leave it much longer.

He is very keen on wearing the proper pants and not having nappies, but he is yet to do anything in the potty or toilet. We play endless games of dollies pretending to wee on the potty, read stories, attempt bribery with chocolate, but nothing is working.

My next step will be just to take the nappies away and let him have some little 'accidents'. Hopefully that will do the trick!

Send me all your tips and suggestions please...

How much are you in control of your kids?

This is a fairly typical scene at our home. Luckily all 3 children love playing together, and at the moment all 3 seem to love having a bit of rough play. Despite all my ideals of my children being harmonious peace-loving creatures, they do seem to have a need to tumble around and get some energy out. So far it is all good natured and they also enjoy playing softer games.

This morning my almost 3 year old said "I don't want any more cuddles, I just want to sit down" to his 5 year old sister. He had tolerated a few minutes of being kissed and cuddled and told he was loved, but enough was enough.

How much should we manage their play? I am watching them a lot of the time, but I'm trying to refrain from hovering over them and stepping in at every little thing. (More often I'm hovering over them with my phone camera!) If anything unkind is said then I do dispense discipline, but if they are all happily playing then I have been leaving them to it.

Leave me a comment and let me know how you are managing your children's energy and getting on with the school holidays! x

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm a bit ambivalent about mother's day. On one hand it is really lovely to have the kids make cards, give me cuddles and express their love, but on the other hand it creates an expectation that I will be treated differently. In reality I am still woken up early and have to spend the day looking after children (with some help from the husband). I fear that mother's day and my birthday turn me into a bit of a diva. I'm wondering where my breakfast in bed is, or my lie in, or a special treat. Why have all 3 children climbed into my bed and basically pushed me out?

So its time to step back and just be grateful for life. I have 3 special little people who shower me with unconditional love. Despite the lack of lie ins I wouldn't swap my life and I'm lucky to be able to have these precious children. I got a 'best mum' mug and I'm still optimistic that my husband will make a coffee to go in it. We'll have one of our many fab family days out and appreciate spending time together.

Happy mother's day to all of the hard working sleep deprived mums out there! Enjoy your special day x