How not to potty train

Since writing about Potty training nightmares a few weeks back, things have only gotten worse. My poor 3 year old far from feeling encouraged by all of our efforts to potty train him decided instead to resist and stop wanting to wee and poo altogether. This resulted in a few days of begging and pleading with him, putting nappies back on, taking him on and off the toilet, giving him drinks and generally despairing. He was able to hold out for most of each day, even though that involved some obvious pain and lots of hopping around. He did most of his wees overnight when he was sleeping.

I was so worried about him that I tried to make a doctor's appointment but was only able to see a nurse. She advised me to put away the potty and not mention it for a while, and to put my 3 year old back in nappies. Maybe it's my paranoia but I detected a tone of judgement for my bad parenting. My 3 year old (S) had shown all of the signs of being ready to potty train and was really happy to be wearing his big boy pants.

The following day he was willing to try and wee but he was in so much pain as he did it, and also was lying on the sofa feeling really poorly. My husband rang up the doctors again and although he swears he asked to see a doctor when I took S back it was another nurse practitioner. She asked me to collect a urine sample (easier said than done) and so I delivered that back the following day (Thurs). On Fri when we called back to get the results but they had been sent off for analysis and so we would have to wait over the weekend.

On Monday when we called back my husband was able to at least speak to a GP on the phone, and she told him that S doesnt have a urine infection and prescribed some laxatives. Nearly a week later he is still in discomfort when weeing, so on Thursday I called the doctors again and pleaded to see an actual doctor. As usual they offered me either a nurse practitioner or a phone conversation with a doctor. I held out for a physical appointment and was offered one 8 days later. I attempted to negotiate but to no avail. So we are still waiting for that one and meantime S does seem to be improving.

So what do we do next? S is back in nappies full time, we have to give him a break from the idea of potty training and hope that he doesn't have all these negative associations with it when we try again later. Here's hoping for a few more parenting victories to make me feel a bit more competent as a mummy :-)

Who makes you smile?

After 2 days of dealing with a fairly ill child (plus 2 siblings) and generally moaning and complaining at the world, the sight of my littlest ones happily holding hands put a smile on my face. Today I have grumbled at the doctors surgery for constantly sending me to a nurse practitioner when I ask for a GP (I did get a lovely effort from the reception manager who did go out of her way to explain their procedures), I have sent an angry email to Tescos after getting bad customer service (and bad food), and let the lettings agent for my house have some of my grumpiness too.

My poor middle child is unwell and has spent the whole day on the sofa, aside from being dragged to the doctors surgery again (and tescos of course). His baby brother hung out with him, and the two of them had a lovely few minutes of holding hands. It helped put a smile back on my face and remind me that parenting is all about raising these creatures who are our future citizens and (I believe!) are precious souls.

Let me know what makes you smile!

Fun in the garden!

Thank goodness for better weather! This was taken a couple of weeks ago, but I'm trying to cheer myself up with the sight of happy children as I have one sick at home today. I'm so proud of my little gang of cuties!

Potty Training Nightmares

Many of you will have successfully taught a child how to use the potty or the toilet. I have done it as well, once. For my second attempt things seem a little trickier...

My middle child turned 3 last week, and so that prompted further encouragement to ditch those nappies and put on 'big boy' pants. We have tried many times in the past to get him to potty train but he has such a dislike that we've backed off for a while. But now that he is 3 we can't leave it much longer.

He is very keen on wearing the proper pants and not having nappies, but he is yet to do anything in the potty or toilet. We play endless games of dollies pretending to wee on the potty, read stories, attempt bribery with chocolate, but nothing is working.

My next step will be just to take the nappies away and let him have some little 'accidents'. Hopefully that will do the trick!

Send me all your tips and suggestions please...

How much are you in control of your kids?

This is a fairly typical scene at our home. Luckily all 3 children love playing together, and at the moment all 3 seem to love having a bit of rough play. Despite all my ideals of my children being harmonious peace-loving creatures, they do seem to have a need to tumble around and get some energy out. So far it is all good natured and they also enjoy playing softer games.

This morning my almost 3 year old said "I don't want any more cuddles, I just want to sit down" to his 5 year old sister. He had tolerated a few minutes of being kissed and cuddled and told he was loved, but enough was enough.

How much should we manage their play? I am watching them a lot of the time, but I'm trying to refrain from hovering over them and stepping in at every little thing. (More often I'm hovering over them with my phone camera!) If anything unkind is said then I do dispense discipline, but if they are all happily playing then I have been leaving them to it.

Leave me a comment and let me know how you are managing your children's energy and getting on with the school holidays! x

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm a bit ambivalent about mother's day. On one hand it is really lovely to have the kids make cards, give me cuddles and express their love, but on the other hand it creates an expectation that I will be treated differently. In reality I am still woken up early and have to spend the day looking after children (with some help from the husband). I fear that mother's day and my birthday turn me into a bit of a diva. I'm wondering where my breakfast in bed is, or my lie in, or a special treat. Why have all 3 children climbed into my bed and basically pushed me out?

So its time to step back and just be grateful for life. I have 3 special little people who shower me with unconditional love. Despite the lack of lie ins I wouldn't swap my life and I'm lucky to be able to have these precious children. I got a 'best mum' mug and I'm still optimistic that my husband will make a coffee to go in it. We'll have one of our many fab family days out and appreciate spending time together.

Happy mother's day to all of the hard working sleep deprived mums out there! Enjoy your special day x

Are our children starting formal schooling too early?

There is a debate in the UK about whether the age that children start school or the kind of education they are getting is too young. At the moment children need to be in school by the term following their fifth birthday which usually means they are 4 when they start school. Arguments suggest that 7 might be a more appropriate age and that play-based activities similar to pre-school would be a better option for 4-6 year olds.

To be honest, this hasn't yet affected me much. My daughter is in reception class and is one of the older children. Like many of the girls she really enjoys reading and writing and is making good progress. From what I understand the boys are slightly less interested in academic stuff at this point, and most of them are younger than the girls. As I have 2 boys yet to start school I expect I'll find more challenges later on.

There is a group called 'Flexible School Admissions for Summer Born Children' which is working to tackle the challenges commonly faced by children who find themselves starting school aged just 4 and spending all of their fourth year attending school. (see http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-25726538 for more info)

The 'too much, too soon' campaign began in September 2013 with an open letter in the Daily Telegraph signed by 130 early years experts who provided a range of evidence from different disciplines to demonstrate that 7 is the optimum age to begin formal schooling. This is in line with other European countries. (see http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/discussion/school-starting-age-the-evidence)

It seems that the recommendation is not necessarily that children are kept at home longer, which would have huge economic and social consequences, but rather that education is shifted to be more play-centred. It's all a bit scary for us parents who have children already in the system, but one has to hope that progress will be made in the best interests of future generations.

Let me know your experiences with your children starting school...